In building authentic relationships, whether in love, friendship, partnerships of any kind, we need to have an authentic relationship first with Our Self, our BEing. It is not for us to love another or BE for another. It is not our responsibility to send anyone our love or healing energy. It is our response-ability to love, nurture and BE… this LOVE… this ENERGY… for our Selves, so that we can simply emanate this outward and share with and support one another. (This is inspired through understanding of guidance received as in-spirit-ion does, from Source in many forms <3)
Some time ago a friend and I had a short conversation about partnerships. She said something along the lines that I needed to look at partnerships differently than I had. I had commented on how I felt I worked well in partnership with my former husband. So this thought, question, has been in my consciousness since… just paying attention to anything that comes… messages, thoughts, feelings, inspiration… and seeing/feeling what resonates. I believe I also commented I work better with someone as opposed to being a lone wolf. I didn’t use this metaphor then… it’s perfect though.
I have been receiving clarity. Revisiting my past has been necessary, to see how things used to be, and to understand what I would prefer to have now, bringing forward only what still resonates, if anything. Without going into my whole history, two thoughts about the over 30 year partnership I shared with my former husband came to mind. Neither of us were invested, really interested, in what the other desired. He is a conventional farmer. It was always his dream. He would have loved for me to take part in his work… drive tractor, get my large truck operating license. He didn’t think I wasn’t capable because of my gender at all. He appreciated other women who did this work. It wasn’t where my heart was though… couldn’t have been further from it. I enjoyed designing things, decorating… inside and out (ie. landscaping), organizing, being a mom. Home and family were my focus. His focus and gift was also doing what he loved, in a way of also providing for the home and family. His dad had been a builder and he had acquired all the skills required to build. I designed 2 of our homes… one which he built, as well as furniture pieces. His heart wasn’t in it though. With his knowledge I wanted him to collaborate with me on these things… discuss options. He left it almost completely up to me… and when he made the furniture our communication differed and things didn’t always end up to specifications. They didn’t always fit as intended. Our communication differed and time wasn’t always taken to understand each other.
So partnerships… relationships… what I desire… who I prefer to spend my valuable time BEing with when not alone… people who have a vested interest in similar ideas and goals… of Co-Creating and sharing a more authentic environment in and with Nature… to help in healing… who are willing and eager to work together… who are Committed to Cooperating, Collaborating… bringing our individual gifts together… to Complement one another… openly Communicating our thoughts, ideas, feelings, perspectives, via our personal experiences… in Sharing. Yes, Compromises will have to be made. As long as one’s integrity is not compromised this can be very fruitful. Bringing all ideas and everyone’s strengths to the table and seeing the bigger picture, being open-minded to new and different ways… better ways… can create a whole lot of MAGIC.
A few days ago I banged my right baby toe into something I’d just moved. I believe in everything happening for a reason, messages, lessons etc. I have often felt I would make a great detective. I find out the truth sooner or later when there has been deception. It requires paying attention, utilizing all our senses. With Google it makes it that much easier. So, of course I went and looked it up. It made perfect sense again. I can’t recall exactly what I was thinking when I did it… I just remember who I was thinking about… someone I wish to pursue a relationship with. Friendship is first and foremost…. Essential. I couldn’t partner with someone in any way that I didn’t consider a friend. My definition of a friend… someone with whom to mutually enjoy sharing time with in BEing, each uniquely and authentically, without judgement; enjoying each other’s company with or without conversing or doing activities of mutual interest; being supportive of one another.
And here it was… my right baby toe representing fear and insecurity. “…the little toes known as the Earth Toes. The right Earth Toe (sometimes called the Money Toe) will hold a person’s deep beliefs about money, abundance, family, power, and sexuality issues. The emotions of the right Earth Toe revolve around fear, insecurities, and betrayal.” https://asksablog.wordpress.com/2012/07/16/your-toes-ten-chapters-of-your-life/ Another source also showed the ears represented by the baby toe… listening ;).
One thing I’ve learned is we are always going to have feelings. We can’t or don’t want to deny them. This doesn’t serve us. We need to acknowledge them, even express them, however feels best; constructively, rather than destructively. What we do not want to do is let them have power over us. We have to, rather like a child, (the ‘baby’ toe ;)) be gentle and considerate… working with them as opposed to against. Pushing/forcing only causes resistance… anyone with children understands this, unless the child has been beaten down into submission. The same goes for adults. We need to allow ourselves, our ego… an integral part of our BEing. Here. Now… to be seen and understood, and NOT disowned as bad or wrong. Just see the LOVE that exists in it and say ‘Thank-you for your input. You are worthy of my attention. Let’s work together on this, to allow our self, our BEing, to take small steps, test the waters, see that there really isn’t anything to be afraid of, and if there is any real danger or reason we don’t want to take anymore steps in that direction, we have the ability, the time and space, to realize it… that it isn’t serving us. We can step back at any time, make adjustments, or completely change direction. Just take the experience as that, as an amazing part of LIFE, of LIVING; to learn from, to grow, to understand what we prefer and what we are worthy of… To BE. AUTHENTICALLY. IN LOVE.
This is from my perspective alone. Take what you like from it. We all have our own needs, desires, perspectives, perceptions of what relationship means to us. Never discount your personal truth at any given time in YOUR life. IT IS YOUR LIFE. YOU ARE THE CO-CREATOR. YOU get to choose. ❤