On Listening

‘Today is Your Day’ by Shania Twain, has been playing in my head since I woke up.  My thoughts have been of gratitude for my life, not without challenges, of course.  What fun would that be?  I sometimes get it in my head that things are taking longer than they ‘should’.  Why haven’t I accomplished anything, as far as all the work that needs doing to my new home, and realizations of my vision to help others heal.  But then I realize how irrelevant time really is….it is an illusion.  A day, a week, even a year, in hindsight, can feel like a moment.  That’s likely because it is.  Time is not linear; it spirals; rising up, coming down, and back up again, and so on.  

When I really take a look at the past year or so of my life I am in complete awe.  At the beginning of March, last year, I finally made the leap my Soul had been guiding me to for quite some time.  I left my marriage, a relationship spanning my entire adult life. There’s no judgement as to should, or could I have done it sooner.  It was all exactly as it was meant to be….Divine timing.  The knowing was a gradual buildup to this point, listening, and some  waiting.  I did not plan for anything.  I was truly the Fool, which is the first card in the Tarot deck, numbered zero.  I was not working/earning a living.  I had no idea of the whats, wheres and hows.  I had to just trust in the Divine, follow my heart, and jump.  I was dying where I was, not living my authentic life, even though I had everything, by appearances, that anyone could want; a husband who loved me very much, who desired me, perhaps more than we first met.  I lived a very comfortable life; including summer weekends on our sport yacht.  But my heart was calling me elsewhere. I have no regrets.

It all really began, more consciously, when I first became ill, as discussed in my very first blog here.  I knew then, that I wanted to Live, not just be alive.  I began with learning about healing holistically, particularly through nutrition.  I credit my ascending sign in Taurus for the love of food I’ve always had; only with a lack of knowledge, for many years, as to what real, life giving, food really is.  I began to feel better than I’d felt for as long as I could remember.  But that wasn’t the end of my journey, by any means; just the beginning.  

I can’t pinpoint an exact moment of understanding a bit of what I was being called to do.  There were little signs and steps.  As a child, my first memories were of wanting to be a nun (not catholic) and a go-go dancer (60’s), lol. I knew I wanted/needed to have a family more.  I imagined my life with the cape-cod house and the white picket fence.  But I also felt something so much more.  Oprah would say how she always felt something bigger.  I’d always felt this as well, but as the years went by I wondered; what?; when?

I found out about Reiki at a small holistic health show in my village, and it resonated.  Then, quite some time later I saw a posting for Reiki classes.  I had never even had a treatment to know what it was like.  I just knew I needed to take the class, and then level 2.  I never was able to push myself into helping others with it though.  Something didn’t feel right.  My Reiki teacher had found out about, and studied Jikiden Reiki, the original, pre-Americanized version, which I sooo resonated with.  It was like everything I’d learned and understood, to that point, had come together, like pieces of a puzzle.  However, I still wasn’t able to move forward with it, in working with others.  

The year before I’d also had a slight heart attack, a definite wake-up call to listen to my heart and embrace Living to my full potential.  Perhaps, not so surprisingly, this happened quite shortly after the purchase of the ‘boat’…our 3rd in succession, known as footitis.  Hmm.  

My heart and soul have always desired a simple life.  I was getting lost in this world that did not feel like mine.  I didn’t realize it fully at the time; how much of myself I’d given up, hiding parts of my true self, that didn’t fit in that life.  Our Souls have a way of getting our attention, though, until we have to listen…or not.  But it gets louder and louder, and denying it won’t help.   Disease, inevitably sets in.  I learned, although I already understood this very well, deep down, that I needed to do a great deal of work on healing myself before I could truly begin to help others. I have had a lot of help along the way, and I believe, helped others as well, even though not consciously.

I see the vision of my life, that has been a gradual realization, coming to fruition.  It is about taking steps in the right direction.  It’s not exactly as I pictured it, yet; and, I’m sure there will be new visions.  I am a healer, perhaps not in the way many are familiar with.  I also HAVE TO DANCE.  I see ways I can do both. I have envisioned a healing retreat and being in a community, and I can see this beginning to take shape right where I am now.  I feel the Angels here with me.  They brought me here. I am truly blessed. 

I urge all of you to listen to your heart; your soul.  Where would you be right NOW?  What would you be doing?  Who would you be with?’  If you are exactly where you desire to be then great; otherwise, let go of the worries of where the money will come from, whether there will be money/work in the future, or if the right person is out there.  It takes, first, letting go of what isn’t serving you, to make room for what can.   And If your will and the Divine/Source/God’s will are in sync, anything and everything is possible, with suprising ease.  Just allow… as a few wise friends have told me.  Allow the abundance that is your birthright, of eternal LOVE. ‘You have to believe it to see it’, not the other way around.  The Universe is conspiring for you.

 LISTEN and FOLLOW your HEART ❤️❤️❤️. Imagine the possibilities if we all did this. Limitless. 😊❤️🙏🏻💫

Kim ❤

  

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